This week this question has been running through my mind. Think about that one thing that you want the most? That one thing that you think about all day and all night. That thing you cannot get out of your mind. That thing that won’t let you sleep at night. Did you get it in your mind now?
Now ask yourself how bad do you want it? Will you go the extra mile to make sure that you complete it in your lifetime? I’m sure you already answered “yes” in your mind.
Well… Ask yourself this… Will you give up the thing you want most for the things of God? Would you give up that one thing you want most to be in God’s perfect will for your life? Tough question right? Trust me, it’s one of the hardest questions I’ve had to answer myself.
The one thing that I want the most is to find love. Not just an ordinary love, but a God-sent love. I want to be married and have a family, with a dog running around in the backyard!
Just when I thought this might happen, the Lord posed a question to me. Let me tell you a little bit about the story first.
I’ve known this person, for years now, he has been one of the most consistent, loyal, caring, person in my life. He never judged me after finding out about my past, he cared for me emotionally and spiritually. He loved me through some of my toughest moments. He was my best friend.
He’s always wanted a relationship, and I was never ready, to accept the love he was willing and ready to give me. We’ve always lived in separate places, but it never changed how he felt about me. Distance to him was never an issue.
I’m just a few days out before flying to see him and I’m all excited. I can just feel that it’s all going to fall together. I’m going to go out there, I’m going to fall in love, and I’ll be married in no time.
I go to church and during worship the Lord apprehends me. I can see myself like it was yesterday. I’m leaning over in my chair, head down, tears rolling down my face and I hear the Lord ask me “Do you want love? Or do you want to be in my perfect will for your life?”
As much as it hurt and as much I wanted love, I told the Lord “of course, I want to be in your perfect will.” Now, I’m sobbing at this point, because I want love beyond a doubt, but I want God’s will more.
I had no clue, that the Lord was about to put my words to the test. As my pastor was speaking he said: “there are people in here that are going to have to make a tough decision, but your destiny depends on it.” I felt it deep down to my core when he spoke it to the church, I knew it was God confirming what He had just asked me.
Here I am after service not knowing how I’m going to break it to my best friend. I’ve always hated to disappoint him or hurt him. Of course, after I told him, our friendship was done. He wished me the best in life and we haven’t spoken since.
It hurt me so bad to my inner core to lose him, but what do you do when the Lord asks you which one do you want more? Will you have the strength to leave what you want most behind for God?
I’ve never spoken about this until now because the Holy Spirit hadn’t released me to talk about it. This tells me that someone else is going through the same thing, and is having to make one of the toughest decisions they’ve ever had to make. Now, your thing may not be love, it may be a job, a lifestyle, a car etc.
Although I may never know why I couldn’t go, I know that I’m right where God has and needs me. It still hurts I lost a best friend, but he deserves to find love; a love that will love him as he deserves.
Following God is difficult at times, and even when we don’t know the reasons why something happens the way it does, we have to continue to have faith and know that God will never allow our sacrifices to go unseen. God will honor your faithfulness, it may not be right away, but He will make sure of it. Maybe one day I’ll get to see why I couldn’t go, and maybe I won’t, but my faith and my trust will always remain in God.
Let this be your encouragement, that what you’re willing to sacrifice, God will return it with double in His timing. As I was typing this, I was reminded of the story of Job. Job lost it all, but his continued faith in God, allowed him to see double of the things he lost.
Don’t be discouraged, remember this… “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28