This week I was faced with some hard realities that really broke my heart. God gave me revelation to questions that I had been asking. When you say yes to God, you say yes to His will for your life and not your own will.
When I was in Bible College, I remember one-night weeping and singing the song by Kim Walker “Where you go I’ll go.”
“Where you go I go, what you say I say, what you pray I pray.” I proceeded to sing my own lyrics… “where you tell me to go, I’ll go. What you tell me to do, I’ll do. I will follow you forever. I will lift up your name. To worship you I will always live.”
This has become the song of my heart. If the Lord told me to go, I went. If He told me to do it, I did it. Now, I didn’t do it without a care in the world. I had to make some of toughest decisions with a lot of pain in my heart. I have had to leave behind things, people, including those dear to my heart; my family!
Although people may see it as moving from place to place to get away from things, it has never been that. It has always been with the leading of the Lord. I have gotten so much crap for moving and trying to defend myself would be exhausting at times. No one understood the fight I was battling between doing what God said to do, versus what my flesh wanted to do.
I recently got into a disagreement with a family member and they stated: “you left your own family to follow another family.” This was the second time that this person had said this to me. I immediately got defensive, because I followed the leading of the Lord and not my own flesh which would’ve been to stay with my family. Especially with my father having health issues, not being able to see my niece grow up, or missing family events. This still breaks my heart.
That night I cried myself to sleep because no one understands the cost of when you give God your “YES!” His “yes” requires a sacrifice of some sort. Some bigger than others. I was asking God why? Asking to help me understand. That’s when the story of Abraham and Isaac came to mind. Genesis 22:1-18.
Isaac was Abraham and Rebekah’s miracle baby, who they loved so much. God tested Abraham’s obedience by telling him to sacrifice his only son who they waited many years for. Abraham didn’t question God; he just did it. As he was about to sacrifice his son, the angel of the Lord said “do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said, “do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.” V.12
Because of Abraham’s obedience in his attempted sacrifice scripture says – v.14-18 “So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.” The angel of the LORD called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said, “I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring, all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me.”
I share this story not in hopes to get your sympathy, but to recognize that your sacrifice comes with provision and blessings. Although my “Isaac” is my family, it’s a sacrifice that hurts, some days are better than others, but some days it’s really difficult for me. But… I have to hold onto God’s word that says “there will be provision, and blessings not only for myself, but for my descendants.”
Abraham’s sacrifice came with a huge cost of faith and obedience, but he paved the way for generations behind him to operate in their blessings because of a decision he made to follow the leading of His father; God.
I ask you to think about what sacrifice that God has asked of you, or been asking of you, and you may have not jumped on it, because of the fear you have within in your heart. Well, here you have it, God will honor your sacrifice, because he wants your obedience.
Although others don’t understand my journey, my faith is in Jesus who promises me provision and blessings for my sacrifice. As my pastor says “I may not have proof, but I have a promise!”
Just as the story of Abraham and Isaac encouraged my heart, I pray that it encourages yours too! Your sacrifices never go unseen. God sees all. God hears all. God knows all. Don’t you worry, your provision and blessings are on the way!